Why do I have to lose?

I think one of the worst feelings in the world, right behind heart break. is the disgustingly empty feeling I got. right after I spill my heart out and lay my cards on the table. Right after I got the courage to say everything I have been feeling and be completely and recklessly honest. It's the feeling I get right after I risk everything and you just walk away. because then, I realize that I just lost. I lost everything I didn't even know, I had when I said ' Why do I have to lose?'