Sunday, July 31, 2011


I don't know what is worse. missing what we were. missing what we could have been or missing how it was before 'us? I feel as thought I know what she's doing now. and she'll never realize my absent.really. You can't go back and change what has been said and done. and I'll learn the lesson not to give someone to be your everything. once you loss them, you have you know, last time, I used to convince my heart to believe you although I know you're lying. but, now I understand. bitterness will not make a 'us happy. so, I've gave up. whenever I smile, I just trying to keep the tears from failing and sleeps, just so I'll stop thinking about it. I don't want to leave you. I wish that was just a misunderstanding. tell me. can you?

I'll let go of you.

When you love someone, what's important to you is their happiness, not yours. I should let go of you. I want you to be happy. your happiness always my happiness.My thoughts telling me that you don't love me anymore. and I know it's true. might be true. who's know? only you! I truly wanna know about the truth. who's the someone? can you tell me everything when I ask you? don't tell me it was just a misunderstanding. you said 'We're together is what I wanted, but, when I think I would be reject. it hurts. it really do hurt me. I feel like crying.' first thought that goes into my mind is ' you're telling it to someone. and that's hurt when the someone isn't me. I'm alright. no worries. but, I used to revive back memories. when did I do wrong? what did I've ever done with it? where did I go wrong? tell me! I just wanna know. and I'll never change for it. cause I'll never keep you when you love someone else. your heart don't belong to me anymore. and what for? for keeping you at my side when you don't really love me? my life still go on without you. I could tell you. no matter how hard the situation is. I'll never fall. I'll back off so you can live better. time to say goodbye to you.

Saturday, July 30, 2011


She isn't my girl but I love her hugs, smile, kindness and the times we laugh together. I just fell in love with our friendship. she's not my girl. but, she's MINE!:)

give & receive:)

Last time, I used to worry too much about the little things!:)now, I'm not!:)am I?:) People asked me, why I like you?:) I don't even know why I like you, I just do!:)alright?:)just accept that I do. too much sweetness in a relationship leads to a diabetic heart. It'll be too hard to heal when wounded:) I give love and I do receive love from you!:)aww:)darling!:)I miss you!:)like heaven?:)LOL!:)just kidding!:)when I'm sad. shut up and kiss me. and I'll be happy again!:)

Friday, July 29, 2011


I know crying won't solve anything. But, I still cry. cause it makes me feel better somehow for letting the pain come out of my soul!:) and I'm sorry for taking your feelings as a joke. I never thought that I'll hurt you, just because of the three words:( I don't mean that to you. but, I think. it's better to tell the truth and making someone cry than to tell a lie and making someone smile!:) am I right?:)

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Happy Birthday!:)

A birthday is special, especially more if it fall to be the big day of my dearest, my darling!:) 'Happy Birthday' Darling!:) Today, I've showed you how much I love you. but, something. you do have to know about it. that was I love you more than I've ever showed. I may not speak sweet words. people do said that, I'm treating you badly by scolding you. That's me. the truly me. I'm sorry. for treating you so badly. and making you feel hurt by saying out those words. I don't mean that. I was just to release my stress. sorry, for making you feel so hurt and bad!:(Thanks for your forgiveness. a kiss from you today, make me feel that you're deserve everything that I've done!

Sunday, July 24, 2011


Darling, never say goodbye when you still love me. can you? It makes changes between us and it's breaking my heart.nor yours? am I supposed to have forgotten about you by now, but clearly my brain has it's own plans. I take the guarantee of forever. but, It doesn't exist. true love doesn't have a happy ending because true love doesn't end. how about ours? Love is like a mountain, hard to climb, but once you get to the top. the view is beautiful. and you're telling me to let go of you when the beautiful view that I've ever seen for the once. please, tell me it wouldn't be happening!. can you?

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Say 'NO' to

I write about love and such 'maybe'. Not because I want it so much. it's because I have it. The only love that I knew.Jealous, is one kind of LOVE!:) You got so much love from me. from everyone. don't cha know about it? but, whenever I saw someone hug you. talk to you. just like how I talk to you. I'm jealous. I'm scare. I'm afraid that, they might replace my placing in your'll kill me. sooner nor later. because I don't want to lose you. so, give me a little love. just to keep me safe. not a little, but as much as I want.

I +You = :) I - You = :(

I don't think there is any 'good' in the sooner goodbye. every time, I'll cry when I think of it. I wish you're here. wipes my tears away:)and I could just whisper your name whenever I need you. you're be there!:)But, it seem that I have nothing. I wouldn't have been crying in front of you. I could just hold back my tears and hide them with a smile. but, you have to know that, I can't hide that hole in my heart. I still remember, whenever we're bound to be together. do you remember those moment? I saw you, I wanted you, I have you, I hold you. but, you leave me. not now, but, in 2 years times.

Friday, July 22, 2011


You told me, you'll leave me soon. in 2 years time. My mood swing whiskey. don't you know about it?:)within in 2 years, there's gonna be a lot of memories. deep in the heart of love. our love. but, in the most beautiful moment, I gonna loss someone I love the most, my darling. do you think , that I could afford the pain? I wonder, are you going to miss me nor remember me in future? you were everything to me. but for you to leave me, what was I to you? What do I really have, when I don't have you?

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Best nor perfect.

Darling, you are the people who bring out the best in me. you are not perfect but are always perfect for me. always remember. I love how much you used to annoy and make me so happy at the same time. sometimes, we came out with some argument. I just let you win. because losing the argument is the way easier than losing you. darling:) we would be amazing together:) aren't we?:)

Saturday, July 16, 2011


I worked so hard to make you so happy. To show you how much I love you. and I know, you do appreciate it:)darling, thank you. for not throwing away all my hard work. sometimes, I do think. I'm be loved by someone special. and to have you. is my fortune. you know, you can count on me. not because I can count on you. it's because I willing to lead you through all the pain. alright?:)

Friday, July 15, 2011

It is powerful.

Try guessing:) what is the most powerful thing in the world?:) Let me tell you:) love and friendship is the most powerful thing in the world:) the bonds we have with someone make us stronger and stronger everyday:) Love teaches me how to laugh, cry, be happy and sad all at the same time:)but, whenever I need you. you can bring a smile to my face in minutes. or. should I say, a second?:)your charm attracts me like a magnet!:) darling:)

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Once upon a time:)

Once upon a time, I was unhappy with life, then you happened. I wasn't sad anymore!:)you make me smile everyday of my life:)so,I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad. carry you around when you're tired.I'll take care of you when you're sick. build you a fire if the furnace breaks. I'll miss you, just like you miss me. I'll give you my coat when you are cold. nor hug you. need you, feed you. when you need.darling:)

EX!:)to the nEXt!:)

Ex should stay an EX!:)They're an example of the wrong love & and EXplanation for why I deserve better. hey, I still remember you. you're the one who leave me without any valid reason. and yet, I'm still stronger enough to go through you wanna know, why won't I choose to block you nor delete you. instead I'm keeping you there so you're able to see how happy I am without you. I knew that was the ending when I'm with you. cause you care too much. you're too sensitive. and your selfishness is even killing me. and when I'm fallen for my darling. you want me back. who do you think you are? you can leave me like this and want me back since I found the new you. you're too selfish. I can't do that. cause I truly found someone who deserve my love more than you do.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011


What if I leave when you've did something that hurt me a lot? I have no idea about it. maybe, I wouldn't be leaving you. cause I'll be willing to forgive you. forgiveness always there for you. oh, really?:)but, it doesn't mean that you could just hurt me. sometimes, I wish you were in my shoes, so you would understand my pain and the reason I go through just for you. and sometimes I act like I don't care. but deep inside, it hurts. really.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Would you?:)

Darling, you can never understand my pain until you're the one who feels it:) and I know. you're sorry that you're not considering how I feel, but while you're're real in loving me. aren't you?:)I'm not addicted to you. I only miss you when I have time:) lunch time, break time, off time, this time, that time, any time and all the time:)I give you my love, precious and true:) you know that my heart, is only for you:)my darling:) would you give yours to me?:)

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Best love.

Do you know, the best love is the one that makes you a better person, without changing you into someone other than yourself. but, I've changed. I'm not the old me anymore. and I know, you love the old me. not the new me. there's nothing can changed this fact. so, please do accept the new me.alright?When I truly care for you, your mistakes never change my feelings because it's the mind that gets angry, but the heart still cares. I know, you can't give me a pure happiness .but, I just love being with you.

Saturday, July 9, 2011


I do a lot of thinking before I got to sleep. thinking about, what did I do wrong today? how could I make it better? what should I do, to make her happy? what should I do, to make things perfect? should I forgive her? or should I say, you're forgiven. although you don't deserve it. forgetting about the mistakes that you did. and accept the new you. the new you are as awesome as the old one:) you know, I can't do anything without you, you drive me crazy but, that's the reason behind it. why I love you:)I'm always crazy when I miss you. but, you truly have to know. that I'm always hurt not because you don't care for me. but because I've cared and trusted you more than you actually deserve.

Friday, July 8, 2011

Love you better.

I love you better, because I start with a friend who I hate. that's you. I'm sorry. If I ever hurt you. I'm just telling the truth. but, don't worry. that was the past. we live in the future. In the past, I hate you. but, I'll make sure in the future I'll love you,Love me because you want to, don't love me just because you have to:)okay, darling?:)

Thursday, July 7, 2011

ain't about the kiss.

Do you know, a hug for you means I need you. a kiss for you means I love you. a call for you means I'm missing you. but, I'll never kiss you. not because I don't love you. It was because I've showed you everyday, how much I love you through our communication:)always remember, a relationship ain't about the kiss:)is about US!:)how much we care for each other:)that's important:) The more I'm with you:)the more I love you:)darling:)just because I care about you, It means. I'll do anything just to make you happy:)but, will you?:)

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Kimru & Kenru:)

You're just like the brightest most beautiful sun rise to me:)darling:)Although, you're the one who gave me, the pain. but, I wouldn't regret of all this. It was because I truly love you:) When I turly love you, I will not care of your physical beings as the love I have for each other will make it most luxurious:) I will never be tired of your weakness & will never run out of forgiveness and will never be bored of your care:) you know, true love is when you have a shoulder you can cry on. eyes to look after you, ears to listen to you and a hug that cures all your pain:) and I do have it:)cause I have YOU!:)darling:)Kimru & Kenru:)

Sunday, July 3, 2011


A good apology has 3 parts. 1st,I'm sorry. 2nd, It was my fault and 3rd, How do I make it right? I've done all of this. but, do you willing to forgive me? gosh, I can't even concentrate on my work. everything seen to be wrong. urghh. I hate it. what's just going on in my mind? can't I just forget about it? and is everything gonna be alright? I'm just so scared, if it's really work like what I've thought about it. It's horrible. your ignorance. please, don't do that to me. it's killing me. even more:(

Saturday, July 2, 2011


I'm sorry. I felt so sorry to you. I should have take it. and pass it to someone. but, I didn't do so. you're right.(Domino's..) what a good sister nor a good couple I am. in the opposite meaning. I'm speechless. I've make you angry. I'm in fear. you're totally sound so much more different when you're angry. I don't want to get a damn from you. please, do forgive me. I don't mean to do so. it was just, what for I take the 'thingy' when I'm not going? and I know I'm the one who knows everything. your IC.and I'm the one who could just go and get that 'thingy' so easily. but,..:( stop with those craps. I'm trying my best just to find you the 'thingy'. but, people need it, you either. I'm trying to help up. but, I just can't find one. even one.oh gosh. I'm just so useless. I shouldn't be living in this world. making you angry like this. *sigh. Nothing that I could just do it for you. no one willing to lend it. and I take it so easily. without, thinking about the outcome.


I just hate it, when I have to depend on 'someone' to get my things done.maybe, for you:)it's normal. but, to me. I seen that I'm useless. I dislike it so much. I'll gonna do it all by myself. you can't changed me. This is me. you know, I hate it. when I heard someone said that I'm taking advantages on you. I would just ignore it:)despite the fact that I'm not:) do you wanna know, why? why would I choose to do everything all by my own without your help? cause I wanna prove to them that I wasn't depending on you. I want them to know that I do deserve that. and I do deserve to have you. sorry. I wouldn't accept your help. don't lend me a hand. you making me, doesn't know how to ignore you. ignore your help. I want to get that, with what I have. not because I am with you nor your help. wish you could understand me:) and I know you will. you always will.

Friday, July 1, 2011

Traffic light:)

Before I met you I never knew what it was like to look at someone and smile for no reason:) maybe, I knew:)but, I just don't admit it:)for me, it wasn't a good starting. I knew it happen for a reason, so that I fallen for you:)and now, I do love you. for what you are:) you know, falling in love has traffic light too, it told me:) should go for it,slow down, or just stop:)and I've been stopped by you:) you made me fallen for you. you're my true love:) love you with my whole heart!:)do you know that?:)