Growing up can mean a lot things. It doesn't mean I should become somebody completely new and stop loving the things I used to love. It means I've just added more things to the list. to make it better. to be a better person. There's nothing I cannot be. There's noting I cannot do. There's nothing I cannot have. till I quit trying. There is nothing in this world universe stronger than the will of mine. when it is directed by a powerful unit of force. whatever my strength, make the most of it in the battle of life. Thought, word and deed are the three levels of creation. well, I have problems. but, there's statute of limitations has expired on all the past traumas. I always got my stuff together and get on with my life. I'll always stop within about what's wrong!because everybody's had a rough time, in one way or another.
I've crumble my knees at the first sight. you're beautiful!:) It's a beautiful crime. when I stole your heart. and you stole mine. Here's no doubt in my mind nor my heart. I am in love with you. Everything about you make me smile. when you hold my hand, I never want to let go. when you're sad, I would do anything in the power to make it better. You mean so much to me that it hurt. I would give anything to be with you every second of every day. darling!:)
You'll never understand why I hurt so much because you're not the one who is crying. you're not the one who is left behind, you're not the one who loved too much. but. you definitely will be the one who is holding on to this relationship. even though, it's gone. Remember me and smile. for it's to be better than crying and remember me. alright, darling? Deep in the heart, I knew it. I knew someday, something, somehow. it's really gonna be happening. and I'll be suffering. knowing that I've lost you. On the outside, I'll be living. pretending that I've forgotten you. knowing that it's stay forever. to keep you in my heart. and for that moment, I'll be wanted to feel the passion, the pain & to weep at the sound of your name. waiting for your presence. make me laugh, make me cry & make me felt that I'm loved.
A special smile. A special face. A special someone I can't find a replace. A love so true. A love so deep. you're the one I choose to keep. darling.
Darling, if you're missing me, it makes my day to know it. a simple call or text telling me you do miss me goes a long way.If you're here to say 'I missed your voice. on the otherhand not only missed my voice, but even those silent moments. actions speak louder than words. I don't wish to hear about how much you miss me, show me how great I am. alright? for all the time, all the memories, and all the effort. all I have to say is thank you. I love you. darling.
There's a story behind every person. there's a reason why I am the way I am. I'm not just like that because I want to be. something in the past created me, and sometime it's impossible to fix. sometimes there doesn't even have to be a reason. I knew from experience that no matter how much I turn things in my head. trying to make sense of them. some people just defy all logic. I've never compare my love story with those in the movies, because they are written by scriptwriters. Mine is written by God.
If I should die tonight and the reason remains unknown, tell not the whole world but the one that I love the most. my dearest, my darling. that I died because of a broken heart. not because she loved me too little. it was because I love her too much. Heartbreak bring us immense pain and suffering but always do remember. in reality we must realize that it brings us one step closer to the one we are destined to be with.aww.
I'm just in love with you, but. I would stay to be friends. have you ever ask me, why did I just choose to be your friends? it's because I know what's gonna happen in the future and it's hurt the most. I'll rather be the one wiping the tears off your eyes rather than the one causing it. I'll always know that I'm the one who causing it. I'm going to make you cry, but. I'll promise I will be there wipe away the tears. darling!:) I will always care about you. even if we can't be together because of some valid reason. I'm glad that each of us would have been a part of our life.
I understand. you really do love me and you don't mean to hurt me. and we do. just so, I can see it in our eyes that we're hurting too. whenever we're hurting the one that we love the most!:) mistakes never faded, lesson been taught!:) flashing back memories and realizing we're always there for each other even though, we did mistake. we've never left each other when what we need is us!:) we've cried!:) but, we're good in hiding it!:) no one knows about our argument!:) just us!:) I've learnt to be strong whenever you're not there for me. I've learnt not to cry at trouble it grows double. I've learnt to laugh at trouble. it disappears like a bubble.
I've tired countless times. I've done everything that I'm capable of doing to try and hold is together. but, I can't be the glue of this relationship when you're not even willing to be the paper. am I right? I hope when you turns around and hurts me. you remember who always love you more than she ever loves herself. that was me! darling, its never too late to go back and fix things that didn't work out as planned. I'm here. waiting for your changes. we all make mistakes, lie and hurt ourselves. but. it's possible to fix it. of course, it won't be easy. at least we've tried. we cared. look at me I know you hurt me, and I hurt you. but, we still care for each other. that's what matter.
I'm the type of girl who could be strong enough to stand alone, yet humble enough to know that everyone needs somebody. I need you too. do you know, I always thought that something really small only can fits right in my heart. but, it seen. my darling could fits better into my empty place in my heart. I love the way we used to stare at each other without even saying a word. just we know, deep in our heart. we been loved with different ways within us. darling, if you ask me, am I needed?:) I'll say is forever. you probably would be forever to me. but, as time goes by. I have not guarantee. someday, I gonna live by my own. since the day you'll left. if you ask me, would I left you?:) never. I never wanna left you. but. someday, something, somehow. we gonna be separate. and I'll never be regret by being with you. cause everything happen for a reason. it happen to teach how to love better.
You said you hurt your whole body. and I'll say it's hurt my heart. darling!:)are you okay? I want to stare into your eyes and never look away. I want to hold you in my arms and I'll tell you. it's okay!:) I'll here to protect you. no worries!:) for good, for bad. I'm here for you. don't you cry? darling!:) True love doesn't just fill in my heart. it overflows into my whole body and soul. just like your wounds.
I need to be a strong lady, a fierce lady, a true lady.to be a leader. to be truly powerful. that can get tolerant from others. respect.
I have tired of denying myself so many times with you. I'm tired to explain, to search and make it more clearer than ever with you. I can no longer deny myself or deprive myself. I need some good loving from you. It's right. your text messages are kind of sweet. bittersweet.and I need you to make me feel like you're thinking of me even when we're apart. A relationship is a two way street. It's never be only my fault. you either. we went into a relationship together & we should work it out together.
As I grow up, I learned that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let me down, probably will. I'll have my heart broken and I'll hurt other heart. I'll fight with my best friend and I'll even cry because time is flying by. so, I'll take pictures, laugh much, forgive freely & love you like I've never been hurt. when things doesn't go the way that I want them to be. I'll look for reason, it is not doing well. yet, when I have problems with my friends and my family. I'll never blame myself. I'll blame them. I'll blame other people. but, as time goes by. I've grown. I've learned. If I know how to take care of them. they will love me better. Blaming has no positive effect at all. not does trying to persuade using reason and argument. That is my experience. No blame, no argument, no reasoning. just understanding. I've grown. you should!:)
Love need no explanation. just communication.I can always tell how much I really like you by how long it takes me to delete your text messages!:)darling!:) It's so hilarious. when recalling back memories. I looks so strong standing there smiling, little does anyone know, last night I fell asleep crying. I smile so the tears don't show, I laugh like I don't hurt at all. I fake it so you never know that I still haven't let you go. although, I'm asking for breakup. how wonderful is it? I'm being so strong. I thought you're my weakness. but, oh-yea!:)you're my strength too. sunshine after the rainy day!:) liking you doesn't really change a thing, but when the moment, you liked me it would change the whole world:)
God created my life, but you're the one who in charge on the color. darling!:)make my life beautiful:) My life may be full ups & downs!:) but, it's all okay when you're around. ever since I was young, I never really understood anything about the world. and I never understood anything that happened in my life. the only thing that ever made any sense to me was you. and how I felt about you. that's all I've ever known. and that's enough for the rest of my life. To be honest, when people tell me to just follow my heart. I don't even know what that means. like sometimes I can't differentiate between what my mind thinks and what my heart feels. but, I always know. that true love would always find ways to understand me nor my pain.
I have that one person, that I would take back in a second. no matter how much she hurts me in the past. that's you. darling!:) show me you won't hurt me anymore, prove me that I was wrong. do you ever think that you understood my feeling? nor my thinking? you don't understand. I can't make you understand me all I can do is hope that some day you will. All I want is you to love me the way I love you, is that too much to ask for? Things could be so different. when it's went wrong. I gave up once and I thought I'll would never try again. but, I stood up clean myself up and said I wouldn't give up on you. cause I need you. would you say that to me too? I love you so deeply. I love you so much. I love the sound of your voice and the way that we touch. I love your warm smile & kind, thoughtful way:)the joy that you bring in my life every day!:) I love you today as I have from the start. and I'll love you forever in my heart!:)
I really enjoy spending time with you, even if we're just going to be standing around and talking about nothing. there are a million things I love about you, like your eyes nor the way you smile, the way you look at me in the eye. I just get the greatest feeling when I make you laugh, I feel as if my company makes you happy. and that's I wish for you. for you to be happy and when I see you laugh at my clumsy ways, it just makes me want to spend the rest of my life with you so I can see a smile on your face. darling!:) I liked when my fingers were entangled in yours, and your head was on my chest, listening to my heartbeat. It made you feel safe, like at that moment. nothing bad could touch you. cause I'm here to protect you. care for you. I wish I could stay in your arms forever.
darling, do you remember?:) few days ago, we're went into an argument. you've hurt, I've cried. but, it never gonna change our love. I waited for you so long. I watched my phone, every night. waiting on a phone call that somewhere in the back of my mind I knew I'd never get. I just wanted to hear you say that 'you're forgiven. and I still love you. I wanted us to be together again' I hoped and hoped that you saw me in the hallways, looking down at the floor and just know that I missed you. because I thought you missed me too. you just didn't know what you wanted. but, I finally realized that you did miss me and I was regret by hurting you. you meant so much to me anyway!:)
do you remember the moment when we're together? those moment seen be so clear in my mind. I'll never forget how we used to be together so happily. you've change. me either. don't you think so? I wanted everything to stay the same but feelings fade and people change. I don't care how far you are from me, or how long it's been since we've talked. I don't care how mad I got at you, or how mad you've been at me. you're still what matters most to me. and I'm never going to give that up. you're the girl that could be my best friend like forever. the girl that laughs the hardest at my jokes. and the one who's bring joys to me. although, we're ain't that close anymore. but, I'll promise I'll never leave you when you need me. I'm the girl who will cheer you up on my own way!:)
I never say no, not because I'm willing to, because I love you. I never get angry, not because I did not have temper, because I love you, I never cry, not because I did not have tears, because I love you. Love might be another sad story of us, but. never ever regret of being together. fate brings us to be together. I love you and I'm loved by you. how sweet it is? to be love in return? it's hard to find someone who'll love you in return, isn't it? appreciate what you have. but, sometimes. being just friends is easier. It would be turn out more happiness between us. it was because I wouldn't be losing you in the end!:)I knew you wouldn't leave me. cause you never think about it. you truly love me. aww!:)thanks darling!:)
do you remember the moment I accompany you?:) you used to roll around on the floor, sleep on my rib, hug me tight and sing with me? I think you're adorable:!)cause you are!:)darling!:) I love you. I took your words and I believed in everything you said to me!:)I don't get to see you as much:( but, always remember. it doesn't mean I don't miss you or need you!:) I'll promise there will be time for us!:) no lies!:)only truth!:)
Life gives me, the pain. and I'm being so strong and act like I'm okay!:) strong walls shakes but I'll never fall!:)I'm truly need you, fate won't let me lose you. fate brought you back!:)aww!:)cause true love never end!:) you and me together through the days and nights. I don't worry cause everything's going to be alright!:)
Live by the sun, love by the moon:)My smile were back!:) you are the one that brings the smile to my face. but most importantly, you are the one who can actually keep in there!:)Things will get better worse before they get better. I remember who's there to put a smile on me and helped me when I'm down without you, darling. By this,I knew who's my true friends!:) you'll never leave, never be. aww!:)that's what friend for!:) am I right?:) without your exist, I'm currently making some changes in my life. because of you, half of my time I don't even know how to smile.There's something about the way the world looks brighter when you're here!:) darling, don't ever leave me, alright?:) I know you're never gonna leave so. it's funny when you remind me of. 'once upon a time, we had a lot to fight for'.
I love you. No distance or time can change that. can you love me the way I love you, or at least let me teach you. I''ll love you more than any of them, who enters my life. but, do you? I'm always there when you need me the most. but, where are you when I need you the most? saying I love you was a good thought in my head. saying goodbye is a bad thought in my heart!:(It sucks when I miss you so much that I look through old photos, old text messages:(
In life sometimes there isn't that net catches you when you fall. but, there's friends. 'Every person is a new door to a different world.' me either.nor you. you're a friend who knows the song in my heart, and can sing it back to me when I have forgotten the words. thanks for being there for me. always. best friends it's a promise, not a label!:) with lots of love to,- Agnes Cheah Huan Yoong
- Narisa
- Choo Chia Hui
- Sabitha
- Chong Yuen Sim
Today I am happy because I don't have any reason not to be. LOL!:) quite been a long time, I never smile from my true heart. just you know, a fake smile may fool the crowd but it never eases the pain. don't say that I'm fake. I pretend to be happy, just so I would not have to explain why I'm not. alright? I don't want to talk about it. cause it means everything to me.now, I truly understand. you can trust without loving, but you can't love without trusting. to truly love you, I must trust. I trusted you.but, I'm just taking the grant not to be hurt by anyone including you. you know, you're wasn't in my vocabulary, until one day. you've became the only word my heart knew.
I miss missing you, miss being with you, & miss having conversations with you. but, I just have to act like I don't care. I'm alright without you. actually, I'm not. I'm not stronger enough anymore. It's useless to miss you. Life move on. I know that, I can't live my life for you. I have to do what's right for me. even if it hurts you.
You're no longer my everything, but you're still my someone. you're still the someone that I want to love and to be protect. The reason why I can't let go of you is because deep inside we still hope. am I right? Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions. I've did it. but, see? what did I get lastly? no response from cha:( I've forget who hurt me yesterday. but, I'll never forget who love me tenderly always. I thought that, even though things may going rough for me, I don't give up. the only way I lose is if I quit. I wanted everything to stay the same. with no feelings that had been faded and people who had change. can it be happening?I'm a girl who wants is to be loved, cared for and to be respected. three simple things can't be that hard, right?
Just because I don't talk to you, it doesn't mean I still don't think about you. I'm just dinstancing myself because I know someday you'll leave. Goodbye makes me think. It makes me realize who I had, what I've lost. and what I've taken for granted. and I don't want to lose it for the second time. I felt the loneliness. It was horrible. sometimes we turn out to an argument. I don't laugh or smile. and I don't need to. I'm being serious. all I need was a hug from you and it's mean everything for me. there are only four words that is so much better than I love you. that is 'I'm here to stay.' but, I'm really truly sorry to tell you that I don't understand you. Happiness is a choice. suffering is an option. why do you have to make 'us so suffering for being together? It began with a friendship, turned into relationship, transformed into love and ended with heartbreak.
I thought that a breakup could be the best solution. but, I'm wrong. change my thinking. change my life.It's really the memories that makes a simple goodbye hard to do. I messed up with your feeling, then apologized. I expecting it would go back to how it was before. but I know, it's never that easy. you may thought, an apology is an easy word to be told. but, it's not. an apology may be a sign of weakness, but having the courage to go up to someone and say sorry is actually a strength. You said you need a little time for my mistakes. I'll wait. but, don't used that time to have me replaced. alright? promise me, okay?:) crying might be the only way your eyes speak when your mouth can't explain how things made your heart broken. but, being with you teach me to be strong. I'll never cry so easily anymore. I'm the type of girl who can be so hurt but still look at you & smile and is willing to brighten your day even if I can't brighten my own.
I've hurt myself by hurting you. I'm sorry for blaming you. like everything! you know, I feel broke inside but I won't admit. sometimes I just wanna hide cause it's you I miss. and it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this. I don't wish to leave you. I don't want to say 'goodbye'. but, I'm just wanna gave up on this relationship. I'm so tired. you started this, let me end this relationship. I used to think that our love never end. I thought it will last forever. but, see! what's happening? I don't trust you, you're hurt, we've fight. and we've done with it. who can I love other than you? who can I love with my broken heart? It's hurt when you don't bother me. you don't talk to me. and you're even ignoring me. who am I to you? I knew that you're hurt do deeply inside, me either. but, please. don't treat me like this. IloveyouforthelasttimeIamtellingyouthis!:)
It was all my fault, my mistakes. I should have grown a trust on you and believe that you'll never hurt me. but now, it turn out is I'm having a power to hurt you. and I'll never thought that I've hurt you so deeply inside. what can I say, other than I'm sorry? what can I do, just to heal your wounds?I wish I knew what makes you happy so I could make you the happiest person in the whole world. If only undo button exist in my reality, I wouldn't have done this way. I'm truly apologize for it!
