Thursday, December 29, 2011


I'm still at this place. Still by your side, I'm tired of wandering. Today again I'm still spinning, flowing and flowing, day after day. That's how I'm here now. You knew of my hurting heart. I hurt when you smile.There is no excuse to laugh and pretend not to know. For not making you love me more, it's my mistake. For making myself love you more, it's my mistake. For not making you love me as much as I wanted you to, it's my mistake. How much more longer, must my tears fall? The lies telling me to wait even my deceived selfishness is now. Tired and worn. Knowing that I can't have you, my indulgent heart is still growing. After waiting alone all by myself, after regretting alone all by myself. It seem that loving you was also a mistake. For not knowing that I will never forget the pain. It's my mistake. I must look like such a fool, for knowing that I'll get hurt but not wanting to let go. Though everything is my fault even then, it's okay. As long as you are here always. Please forgive this kind of me, the me who loves you.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

I'm still loving you.

When I close my eyes, I think of you and the time We've had been through. Even though we're far apart right now. I remember back when you were here with me. How you've make my world complete but now I'm left alone. We talked about love and life. Wishing we could start a life our own, I wish I could live without you. Why did you tear my heart apart, you said you love me from the start and all those painful things you've put me through. I'm still loving you. I've tried to give my best to you. I don't deserve the things you do. Everything has gone to memories. I just wish I know the truth behind the lies.

It's wrong for me to stay & love you.

Fate led you straight to me. You came and suddenly, I was weak beyond control. I had given you my soul. My life was no longer mine. I love you more than life itself. I never loved anyone else anymore. I've tried to stop myself so many times. It hurt me. A love like ours. Where can it go? I must be strong. Cause I know, it's wrong for me to stay and love you. One life won't let love grow, it has no place to go. So, I tell myself be strong but the world tells me, I was wrong. Cause life has the final say.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

If I ever let you go.

For the past me, my thought full of questions. Should I really let you go? and the now me. I'll say "It's time for you and me to go our separate ways". I'll always cherish of our days like there is no tomorrow. Your love was like the heavens from above. and it felt so real like a dream for me. I'll always keep you close here in my sleep. Even though it has been too long but you know, I'm always still holding on. Every time I see you, you make me wanna enchanted in your hand. but, I know. I couldn't. people may said, I'm a fighter. but, I'm not. I called myself. a betrayal. and I'm tired of it. how I wish you keep coming back to me. but, you never will. never did. you are more than a friend, dumb. I told my friends that I'll be okay. that things are over and I'm over it. It just keep getting better. They thinks that I'm just lying to myself. They don't even know that I am proving to myself. That I can be okay without you in my life. I'll do just fine like I know you'll be fine. I was born without you. and I shall live my life without you. I know, my heart want it. want you to be with me. I'll never gonna do so. how come, every time. I moved on. I will always be the same? There are things, I keep holding on. even though, I knew it will never be the same. When will I stop loving you?

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Why do I have to lose?

I think one of the worst feelings in the world, right behind heart break. is the disgustingly empty feeling I got. right after I spill my heart out and lay my cards on the table. Right after I got the courage to say everything I have been feeling and be completely and recklessly honest. It's the feeling I get right after I risk everything and you just walk away. because then, I realize that I just lost. I lost everything I didn't even know, I had when I said ' Why do I have to lose?'

Thursday, December 15, 2011

I'm just a second choice.

I hope the sun shines. Hope it's a beautiful day. I hope something reminds you of me, and how I wish you had stayed. We can plan for change in the weather and time, but I never planned on you to stop loving me. cause I'll never stop loving you. The moment, you told me. you've chosen her. I'm not even upset, hurt or angry anymore. I'm just tired. tired of being the second choice of yours. I'm tired of putting in more effort than I receive. I'm tired of holding on for someone who I shouldn't have love. I'm tired of getting my hopes up only to be disappointed again. someday, when you asked me, "do you still love me?" I'll say " I used to love you more than everyone does". and I wish I still did.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

What's mine remain mine.

At some point I will realize that I have done too much for someone or something, that the only next possible step to do is to stop. Leave you with her.Walk away. It's not like I'm giving up, and it's not like I shouldn't try. It's just that I have to draw the line of determination from desperation. When is truly mine would eventually be mine, and what is not, no matter how hard I try, will never be.

I love you even I hate you.

One day, you're going to text me. That day, I'm going to realize you mean nothing to me anymore. You're just another girl, I wasted my time on, wasted my tears on & giving you a chance to hurt me. You're just another bad memory. I'm going to remember how much I liked you, and missed you, but all the same time how much I hate you. Instead of getting all excited over this one message, that can mean the world to me, but nothing to you, just click erase and move on with my life. You're not worth it. Dumb, I love you even I hate you.

Friday, December 2, 2011

Nothing old, nothing new.

I can't go back to the old me, because the new me has seen too many things. It's not worth trying to be someone whom had already gone, whom I'm not, I won't be happy. but, being the new me doesn't make me happy either. Nothing old, nothing new. I just need time. I love, I live in the moment, but I regret too.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Start over.

I miss us. and I don't mean together hanging out. I mean like I miss us being so close and telling each other everything. For once, If I had to count the reasons why I love you and why I'm so in love with you. I'd have count forever. you know, I'm glad that you trust me. It makes me fell like I'm worth something. but, I probably felt sorry. I shouldn't have did that to you. I would like it to start over. For just once, I wish I could just be me. the old me. I hate being the fake me in front of you. I want to be the me with no masks on, no rehearsed answers, no empty promises & no fake smiles. but, it couldn't have been. why can't everything just start over?

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

A thousand words nor tears!:)

I should have stop dreaming. If you really truly wants me. nothing will keep you away. You will do everything that could be able to be with me. Giving up always an option but never a choice.You just give up. you just stop showing. but, I still don't understand. How could you walk away that easily from me? Did you ever even love me? This is me being real. This is actually how I feel. I don't know. should I really forget about you? It's hard, you know? losing someone you truly cared about. A thousand words couldn't bring you back. I know. neither could thousand tears? I think it's better for me to end this feelings for you and start another than to imprison myself in hoping for the impossible:)

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Stay with me!:)

I remember a prison of all memories between us and I'm drowning in tears. I remember a voice, that was calling my name. and I know. I'll never feel this anymore. All the time you made me cry. I walked away and never said goodbye. I guess I lost you. now, you probably just gone. I tried to hide the pain. But, all I can see is you!:) How can I do it? I don't have any clue. Would you stay with me?

Sunday, November 20, 2011

you're just the same.

I'm sad. I thought you're different. you'll fight for what you love & you fight for what you deserve to. but, it proved me. I was wrong. you just stop loving me, the moment I fall for you. the day you stop used to be the day I start!:) I broken my own heart by loving you. It's alright. I'm alright!:) I know it's hard to fight with your fear. I understand. I've let you go. treat her right!:)I've moved on. moving on by remembering it but it doesn't affect me anymore!:)

Saturday, November 5, 2011


People do said, let go when you're hurting too much, give up when love isn't enough and move on when things aren't like before. There's someone out there who willing to give them all to you & love you more. I know. I deserve better and meant to be happier than now. I know. I should give up and believe she never make changes. I know. I should move on and live better than she does. but, I still love her. she's the one, I love with all my heart and it never disappears when we're apart. I've done everything just to make her happy. I want to paint our future together. I know it's not worth for me to do so. I just make this decision.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

It turn out the same thing.

I may not be perfect. I may not be good enough for everybody. but, I will always be the best for someone who really deserves me. and that's you, darling. you're probably the someone who worth my tears, worth my laughter, worth my heart & love me as much as I love you. It's never too hard for me to sacrifice everything for you. I always know that what we want and what we're trying to escape, are sometimes the very same thing.

As long ago.

Falling in love with someone isn't always going to be easy. darling, you know. there's gonna be anger, tears & laughter. It's when we want to be together despite it all. that's when we truly love another. I'm sure of it. The things that we did in love to each other, we remember. and if we stay together, it's not because we forget, it's because we forgive. aren't we? I may give Pulse for pulse, breath for breath. speak low, lean low. As long ago, my love, how long ago. My love never end.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Remembering nor Forgetting.

Darling, for the future. remember me with smiles and laughs, for that's how I'll remember you. If you can only remember me with sadness and tears, then don't remember me at all. alright? I may not have given you much to remember but please do. don't forget me. Sometimes, it's might be hurt of thinking back, what we used to be. we're belong to each other. just in a blink of eyes, everything is gone this way. that's should be for us to survive by remembering but, sometimes we survive by forgetting. aren't we?

Wednesday, October 26, 2011


The rain may be falling hard outside, but your smile makes it all alright. I'm so glad that you're my friend. I know our friendship will never end. how one smile can make the sun rise and set. then, just a single memory of that one smile can thoroughly make a friendship complete. you always here, having the kindness to help that were given to me without thinking. lending a hand to a project, that would be the right timing for me to have someone to help on. you're giving more than I expect to receive and you've never counting favors. you listen to me and offering me your opinion when you think I need to. and that would be too much for me, dear. you're so dumb. but, anyways I like you to becoming my true friend.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

This is goodnight and not goodbye.

My friend, like the path of a star. you'll be everywhere I am. so do I. that lies beneath the colds in this camp uncertain keep my light in your eyes say good night not goodbye. Don't fear when your dream waking up was never what it seemed. I'll fight with you for the dream. Like a chill very deep like a promise meant to keep you are aught to be so just let your heart reach out to me. I'll remember camping days and friendship are true. I'll be right by your side say goodnight not goodbye.

Friday, October 21, 2011

hand in hand.

Darling, if you can look through my heart, you'll understand what I ever wanted. but, I'll never get. There's nothing I wants more than something I can't have. do you understand? There's no feeling more comforting and consoling than knowing you are right next to me. hand in hand, heartbeat to heartbeat, soul to soul. Wouldn't it be so hard, for you to fulfill my dream? I always comes off strong doesn't mean I didn't fall asleep crying. and even though I acts nothing's wrong, just because I'm really good at lying. I've wasted so many words on you.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

A thousand years.

I keep telling myself that I don't miss you and I don't have the feelings, I have for her. but, you've made me believe it. I love you. I should stop making the same mistakes. shouldn't I? I should have ignore your existence. I should have ignore all of your doing. to keep me satisfied for what I have. I hate you for loving me the way I want her to love me so. I hate you for making me felt, I mean the world to you. people do said, do not under estimate the power of hug, the care nor love someone have for you, it can ease your pain nor loneliness. I don't believe in it. till you came. I may not love you now nor future but, I'll love you in next thousand years.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

yours not mine.

I'm sick of crying, tired of trying, yet I'm still smiling but inside I'm dying. There it goes again. All I want to do is close my eyes and sleep, because the process of being broken is incredibly exhausting. you attempt your best to make my days fulfilling, but no matter how hard you try, you just can't seem to connect to me. cause I'm taken. you've mean something to me. and you know, Sometimes the silence and lack of words being said between us had hurt more than anything you've ever did. you know, It takes too much effort to pretend not to care. I may not fall for you. but, you definitely a good friend to me. I'm broken cause I'm broken yours.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

It's hard.

Have you ever felt that you're losing someone's attention? losing the closeness that you once had. the moment, the closeness, the care & the attention just not given enough. I miss you.I knew you do. aren't you? Nowadays, it's hard to find a good person. It's hard to find someone to talk to. someone who'll just listen and not judging me. someone who can really made my day. someone knows my humor.someone like you. but, you leave. you did. I should have stop you from leaving. I didn't. just because, I knew that I meet someone who means a lot to me, only to find out in the end. we just never meant to be together. just so I know. I have to let go.Whenever you walked by, I just gonna pretend I'm alright!:) I'll live better on without you!:) I'll smile just to let everyone know that today, I'm a lot stronger than I was yesterday!:)I'll count the garden by the flowers, never by the leaves that fall. I'll count my life with smiles and not the tears that roll for you. the tears and pain from the past you made the present me.Since you've move on, so do I.


The wind is shaking the windows, and over my small room. the stars fills up the sky, shining brightly to many to count. the stars reassure tired me. they wipe away the many tears that are deep inside me. It wouldn't be hurt too much as you've did so. cause they hug me tight, pamper me & comfort me. I wish you do so. but, you never will. never been. thought I'm exhausted to the point where I can't walk. thought my tears blur my vision. I'll still smile in front of you, darling. even though our happy times might be short, I'll treasure it deep inside my heart. like those countless number of stars, forever. My dream is coming. though it is unusual that my one stars is bright. it's bright, even blinding. it comes down to my shoulder. telling me, stop being so sad. it holds my hands as it touches me. and gives me a warm hug.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

I'll remember you.

I'm not as strong as I may look. right now, I can slowly feel myself starting to let go. I'm alright. have faith, be confident and step forward. to face all difficulties. It's scary to think that one day all this eventually end. I don't want to lose. but, it's time for me to grow up. I realize. maybe some people just aren't meant to be in my life forever, maybe some people are just passing through. they came into my life to bring me something, a gift, an honor. a blessing, a duty, a lesson I need to learn, and that's why they're here. I'll be missing the old times when you've leave. the laughter, the silly jokes & you. are the best thing in this world. I'll remember you.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

I promise.

There are things that I don't want to happen but have to accept, things I don't want to know but have to learn, and people I can't live without, I'll lose my happiness but have to let go. You've taught me how to be a better leader. guide me how to face under all circumstance. and many more. But, time. here you go. Can miles truly separate us from being friend? being my good leader? I'm not ready to handle it by myself. I still need your guidance. aren't I'm ready to face it? I just don't understand. For in the end, I will conserve only what I have. I will love only what I understand. I will understand only what I've been taught. I always know that every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end. I promise. I'll handle it well and make you proud!:) Thanks for everything!:) I just don't wish to say 'goodbye' but, I know. I have to.

Monday, October 10, 2011

I would do anything.

I keep thinking times will never change, keep thinking things will always be the same. but, sometimes, things just happen beyond our control. People changed. so do feeling.There are just so many things I'm not sure of in life. but with all certain at this every minute, all I ever know is. I miss you. the old you. If only sorrow could build a staircase, or tears could show the way. I would climb my way to heaven. and bring the old you back home again. I would do anything just to bring you back to me. Because if I got you back , I would get back the friend that I once knew!:) I believe in myself. I believe I could bring you back. don't tell me. I'm just a dreamer. I dream my life away. I'm just a dreamer, who dreams of better days. I lived in the reality. and I met you in reality. It isn't fantasy for me to fill, it's reality!:) dear, you'll be the 'you' again.

Sunday, October 9, 2011


It's good being strong. but, it sucks when people know that I'm strong. some of them, take the opportunity to hurt me. and some people thinks it's alright to hurt me. darling, sometimes. the slightest words you spoke. have all gone to my minds. light on my heart, light on feet. light in your eyes I can't even speak. do you even know, how much you make me weak? I'm a lightweight. be careful for what words were spoke. cause once, it's hurt me. with every word I'm blown away. you're in my control of my heart. I may be strong. within you, I'm easy to fall. easy to break. with every move my whole world shakes. so, darling. make a promise. you're always be in reach. just in case I need. you there when I call. I wish you could. you've been a better place for me to fall.

Someone like you.

Sometimes I lay in bed at night, and think about the things that could happen between us. who I am? what I'll be? when you're gone. Sometimes my heart just need some time to accept what my minds already knew. In future, the moments kill me. the moment, that show us without any relationship. It do hurt me. I wanted to do much more for you, love so much more in you. but. I'm scared of taking risk hurting myself further. I may not control the moments that happen to me, but. I could decide to reduced them. come on, I should be happy. I've got everything I've ever wanted. everything I've ever asked for, so why do I feel like this? darling, I'll find someone like you, when you're gone. just so, I'll feel that I'm been loved by you once more.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

As I travel on,

'As I travel on, love's what I remember.' Mistake's what people remember. Moment's what we remember. People do say I'm different now. maybe it's because I've learnt how to protect myself from being used. learnt from being hurt. learnt how to live better. growing up within days. so, it's eventually the new 'me'. you know, I've been giving you my all, and even more than that. that's why I'm hanging on to you. and I'm hanging onto you. hoping that someday, you'll give me yours. but, you never will. never been. do you know, I don't care how much, how many time I've spent for you. I've never been regret of all this. but, seeing you without putting on any effort on it. it just making a bigger hole in my heart.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

That's what happiness are.

I just want them to know. that I've gave my all. I've did my best. brought your happiness in this world a little better. just because, I'm here to love you, darling. The happiness of life I brought in your life nor mine. is made up of minute fractions. the little nor sooner. unforgotten charities of a kiss on your birthday. a smile that could made my day better. a heart that felt compliment. the countless infinitesimals of pleasurable and genial feeling.the fight between you and me. just brought us closer. understanding each other more deeply. needs nor feelings. that's what happiness are.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Thousand of them.

Darling, I might not get to see you as often as I'd like. I may not speak to you, as often as I could. I may not get to hold you in my arms like I always do. but, deep in my heart I missed you. No matter how hard the situation would be, for us to save this relationship. I will always love you. I wants so bad to call you, but just won't because you haven't called me. then again, I shouldn't fill myself with false hope that you might just be missing me like I'm missing you. darling, tell me that I was wrong. tell me that you do miss me like I do. Will you? maybe you see me doing fine. but, I'll tell you. probably not. I acted nothing. but, heart still care. thousand thoughts on mind. how can I get to see you today? how can I able to talk to you? will I get to hold you in my arms once more?

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Who are you?

Deep in my heart, I'm truly appreciate all of you. I feel thankful. Days passed. so do my day. day that fill with laughter, smile nor loveless. Although the outer looks nothing but, the inner still care. My mind is clouded with thoughts I can't understand. People do said, I got nothing, even though I gave her everything. I stand and said. everything I did, it's just to ensure her happiness. I don't ask in returns. just a smile for her. even laughter means everything to me. and I'm thankful. She've been trying to do her best. and that's what I truly wanted. just remembering. and even a wishes. that's enough. that had been too much for me. I don't ask for more. dear you, who are you to predict her? who are you to back stab her? who are you to look down on her? who are you to judge her? you may said that I'm stubborn. you may said that I'm unlovable. but, I need you to earn some respect on her. she's not for you to judge. she's not for you to look down on. she's not for you to back stab on. she's not the one that you can easily predict. I've been always look at what I have from her. I've never look at what I have lost. I've got what's the best from her. and that's good enough.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Starless & hopeless.

Darling, of all the days you've been away. I seem to miss you more today. All I have is a starless sky and hopeless dream to get on by. thought there's no way for me to be near with you. I wish you understand me. that I always want you by my side. the more the days, the day came nearer. For hearing my thoughts, they ask me what I liked best, I've told them it was you. it was all about you. for filling my life with joy and loving me without end. they never let go of me. being my close friends. understanding my feelings, my dreams & hopes. I just, I appreciate it when my friends are around. they knew me better than you are. and I know that with them I'll never have to be anyone but myself.

Friday, September 23, 2011

What was I to you?

I've changed towards you. I'm not as nice as I use to be. because I'm tired of being used. I distance myself from you, seems you never want to stay. I pretend I don't care about you anymore. when really it's you all I seem to think about. Even thought I know what's wrong between us. but, I just want to hear from your side. If you never say what you feel? how am I suppose to know what's your feelings? I guess I needed more time to heal. don't keep me satisfied. I should have grown no trust & no hope on you anymore. you never seems to change. you never care. you never understand. you never know. you never remember. what was I to you?

Thursday, September 22, 2011


I'm a guide. I'm a leader. I'm always tough. I'm always strong. I'm always has two reasons for doing anything. a good reason and the real reason. but, I'm always real. I stand for a reason. be prepared to stand like a tree. I'll never want to fall on the ground. but, I'll be the one who fell like a seed that grows back to fight again. Leadership to me means duty, honor, country. It mean character, and it means listening from time to time. I'm always hold myself responsible for a higher standard than anybody. I've never excuse myself from being responsible. I've gained strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which I really stop to look fear in the face. I must do the thing I think I cannot do.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Eyes were true.

Don't matter what people say. I just gonna love you still. I remember, when you looked into my eyes. you saw right through me & I could not hide. I was exposed just like a child. All of my heart, I wished you'll hug me in your arms. and you did. but, you leave. Now I see myself through different eyes, it's not surprise. being alone would make me realize. when it's over. I know I push you away. what can I do that will save our love? take these material things. they don't mean nothing. it's you that I want. I never wanted to see things in this way. had to go astray why was I such a fool. Now I see that the grass is greener. Is it too late for me to find back the trust on you, how could I be so wrong? I'm sorry. darling. everything's over. remains our love.

Saturday, September 17, 2011


From this moment life has begun, from this moment you are the one. Right beside you is where I belong from this moment on. From this moment I have been blessed,I live only for your happiness. and for your love I'd give my last breath form this moment on. alright, Darling? you know, without you there'll be no sun in my sky. there would be no love in my life, there'll be no world left for me. I don't know what I would do. I'd be lost if, I lost you. How do I live without you, how to I breathe without you? I want to be the face you see when you close your eyes, I want to be the touch you need every single day. I want to be your fantasy & be your reality nor everything between. I want you need me like the air you breathe, I want you to feel me in everything. but, I know. you wouldn't have been.

Friday, September 16, 2011


I would give up everything. Just to keep you at my side. I would give you everything . There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do. to ensure your happiness. I'll cherish every part of you.After so much suffering. I've finally found someone that's true. I was all by myself for the longest time. it's cold inside and hurt from the heart it would not subside. I felt like dying until you saved my life.darling. I thank God. I found you. I was lost without you. within you, I've found myself. my every wish and every dream, somehow became reality. when you bought the sunlight. it completed my whole life. see I was so desolate before you came to me. Looking back I guess it shows that we destined to shine. after the rain to appreciate and care for what we have. I'd go through it all over again. to able to feel this way.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Same feelings but..

I can be tough, I can be strong. but with you, it's not like that at all. I remember all those crazy thing you said. all those crazy thing we did. you left them running through my head. you're always there, you're everywhere. but right now I wish you were here. darling, can you tell me. heaven from hell . blue sky from pain. can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail. a smile from a veil. you just make it possible. we're two souls. swimming in a fish bowl. year after year. running over the same old ground.footprint leave. what have we found? the same feelings. but, it's over.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

What I am I have to be.

We fell in love. but, it's not on the first day that we met.Together, we've been happy. I have very few regrets. for those ordinary problems. have not been hard to face but, lately little changes. have been slowly taking place. I knew my wrong. I'm always finding something is wrong in what you did. but, I can't rearrange my life. so, darling you've got to love for what I am. for simply being me. don't love me for what you intend. or hope that I will be some day. and if you're only using me. to feed your fantasy. you're really not in love. so, let me go. I must be free. if what you want. isn't natural for me. I won't pretend to keep you. What I am I have to be. the picture of perfection. is only on your mind. for all your expectations. love can never be designed. we either take each other for everything we are. or leave the life. we've made behind and another start.

I just don't understand.

"I just don't understand". How awesome is my day, where I was having fun could change in the blink of an eye. I don't understand how she push me away like she have no feelings for me, but yet she made it look so easy. without explaining what I've done wrong when I know I haven't done anything to upset her. How I can smile all day long but cry myself to sleep at night. How pictures never change but the people in her does. How my best friend can become my worst enemy or how strange it is when my worst enemy turns into my darling. How forever turns into a few short months that I've do almost anything to get back. How I can let go of something I once said I couldn't live without. How even though I know something is best for me, it just hurts the same. How the people I once wanted to spend every second with me, think few minutes of their time is too much to spare. How people make promises despite knowing how common it is for promises to be broken. How people can erase me from their lives just because it's easier than working thing out. I don't understand.

Sunday, September 11, 2011


Maybe I didn't treat you, quite as good as I should have. maybe I didn't love you, quite as often as I could have. Maybe I didn't hold you, all those lonely times. little things I should have said and done. I just never took a time. and I guess I never told you. I'm so happy that you're mine. You're always on my mind. darling, if I've ever hurt you. I'm sorry I was being uncontrolled. tell me that your sweet love for me hasn't died.give me one more chance to keep you to satisfied.


Darling, I love you in a place where there's no space or time. I love you for in my life. you're a friend of mine. and when my life is over. I'll remember when we were together. We were alone & together we're both. all this we've been together. everyday a new adventure. times, enough to last forever and a day. our love was sometimes all we had. through good times nor bad. all our days weren't bright and sunny. there are times we have argument. you could always find some funny things to say. just to calm me down. and looking back on where we've been. I'd do it all again. just so, I'll feel that I've been loved. I loved you all the way. every day, every night. times I thought I couldn't count on. wondering if we'd ever make it. you could hold me close and I've said it all be yours.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Every night, every day.

Every night, every day. you're the one I always dream of. every line of your face is sketched so plain inside my heart. you've grown so deep inside of me. you're my everything I feel and see. and you're the one I love and have feelings for. all my life, all my love. I can feel when you're beside me. All that's right nor wrong. suddenly becomes so clear. my heart has overtaken by you. with feeling you awake in me. only you could move me enough to believe in love one more time. all I need to know for tomorrow is that you're mine. you're mine for a lifetime. if your friends all around. they find it's hard to understand us. but, you and I understand the other one so well. and that's what I've been looking for.

you're my darling and let me be your honey.

Darling, do you know? I used to think what if I told you. that 'I love you'. I've always wanted to hold you. I'm afraid of nothing would change if we made friendship to love. so, I'll be your friend and I'll be you honey. cause in our hearts we agree. we don't have to be one or the other. we could be both to each other. I've been through you and you've been through me. sometimes, a friend is the hardest to see. define them as 'real' nor 'fake'. but, I've bet all of my friends are true. I always know when it's laid on the line. nobody else is as easy to find. darling, we're taking this chance that could even break our relationship nor friendship. but, I don't afraid. cause once upon a time. I have it.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011


Everyone comes into my life for a reason. some good, some bad. they shape, form or break us. but in the end they make us who we are. so, darling. what's your reason? for being a part of my life? you know.Darling, you'll never gonna feel unhappy, unappreciated, nor unimportant. just so you said, 'around you make me happy'!:)just so, I never forget what you've done to me. just so, when people asked ' what's in my mind'? I'll said your name. as long as you love me, I'll love you just like you do. every time you laugh, I'll be there watching you with a big smile!:) your happiness always mine too.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Nothing's impossible,

Growing up can mean a lot things. It doesn't mean I should become somebody completely new and stop loving the things I used to love. It means I've just added more things to the list. to make it better. to be a better person. There's nothing I cannot be. There's noting I cannot do. There's nothing I cannot have. till I quit trying. There is nothing in this world universe stronger than the will of mine. when it is directed by a powerful unit of force. whatever my strength, make the most of it in the battle of life. Thought, word and deed are the three levels of creation. well, I have problems. but, there's statute of limitations has expired on all the past traumas. I always got my stuff together and get on with my life. I'll always stop within about what's wrong!because everybody's had a rough time, in one way or another.

All started with the crumble knees.

I've crumble my knees at the first sight. you're beautiful!:) It's a beautiful crime. when I stole your heart. and you stole mine. Here's no doubt in my mind nor my heart. I am in love with you. Everything about you make me smile. when you hold my hand, I never want to let go. when you're sad, I would do anything in the power to make it better. You mean so much to me that it hurt. I would give anything to be with you every second of every day. darling!:)

Monday, August 29, 2011

I knew.

You'll never understand why I hurt so much because you're not the one who is crying. you're not the one who is left behind, you're not the one who loved too much. but. you definitely will be the one who is holding on to this relationship. even though, it's gone. Remember me and smile. for it's to be better than crying and remember me. alright, darling? Deep in the heart, I knew it. I knew someday, something, somehow. it's really gonna be happening. and I'll be suffering. knowing that I've lost you. On the outside, I'll be living. pretending that I've forgotten you. knowing that it's stay forever. to keep you in my heart. and for that moment, I'll be wanted to feel the passion, the pain & to weep at the sound of your name. waiting for your presence. make me laugh, make me cry & make me felt that I'm loved.