Thursday, September 29, 2011

Thousand of them.

Darling, I might not get to see you as often as I'd like. I may not speak to you, as often as I could. I may not get to hold you in my arms like I always do. but, deep in my heart I missed you. No matter how hard the situation would be, for us to save this relationship. I will always love you. I wants so bad to call you, but just won't because you haven't called me. then again, I shouldn't fill myself with false hope that you might just be missing me like I'm missing you. darling, tell me that I was wrong. tell me that you do miss me like I do. Will you? maybe you see me doing fine. but, I'll tell you. probably not. I acted nothing. but, heart still care. thousand thoughts on mind. how can I get to see you today? how can I able to talk to you? will I get to hold you in my arms once more?

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Who are you?

Deep in my heart, I'm truly appreciate all of you. I feel thankful. Days passed. so do my day. day that fill with laughter, smile nor loveless. Although the outer looks nothing but, the inner still care. My mind is clouded with thoughts I can't understand. People do said, I got nothing, even though I gave her everything. I stand and said. everything I did, it's just to ensure her happiness. I don't ask in returns. just a smile for her. even laughter means everything to me. and I'm thankful. She've been trying to do her best. and that's what I truly wanted. just remembering. and even a wishes. that's enough. that had been too much for me. I don't ask for more. dear you, who are you to predict her? who are you to back stab her? who are you to look down on her? who are you to judge her? you may said that I'm stubborn. you may said that I'm unlovable. but, I need you to earn some respect on her. she's not for you to judge. she's not for you to look down on. she's not for you to back stab on. she's not the one that you can easily predict. I've been always look at what I have from her. I've never look at what I have lost. I've got what's the best from her. and that's good enough.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Starless & hopeless.

Darling, of all the days you've been away. I seem to miss you more today. All I have is a starless sky and hopeless dream to get on by. thought there's no way for me to be near with you. I wish you understand me. that I always want you by my side. the more the days, the day came nearer. For hearing my thoughts, they ask me what I liked best, I've told them it was you. it was all about you. for filling my life with joy and loving me without end. they never let go of me. being my close friends. understanding my feelings, my dreams & hopes. I just, I appreciate it when my friends are around. they knew me better than you are. and I know that with them I'll never have to be anyone but myself.

Friday, September 23, 2011

What was I to you?

I've changed towards you. I'm not as nice as I use to be. because I'm tired of being used. I distance myself from you, seems you never want to stay. I pretend I don't care about you anymore. when really it's you all I seem to think about. Even thought I know what's wrong between us. but, I just want to hear from your side. If you never say what you feel? how am I suppose to know what's your feelings? I guess I needed more time to heal. don't keep me satisfied. I should have grown no trust & no hope on you anymore. you never seems to change. you never care. you never understand. you never know. you never remember. what was I to you?

Thursday, September 22, 2011


I'm a guide. I'm a leader. I'm always tough. I'm always strong. I'm always has two reasons for doing anything. a good reason and the real reason. but, I'm always real. I stand for a reason. be prepared to stand like a tree. I'll never want to fall on the ground. but, I'll be the one who fell like a seed that grows back to fight again. Leadership to me means duty, honor, country. It mean character, and it means listening from time to time. I'm always hold myself responsible for a higher standard than anybody. I've never excuse myself from being responsible. I've gained strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which I really stop to look fear in the face. I must do the thing I think I cannot do.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Eyes were true.

Don't matter what people say. I just gonna love you still. I remember, when you looked into my eyes. you saw right through me & I could not hide. I was exposed just like a child. All of my heart, I wished you'll hug me in your arms. and you did. but, you leave. Now I see myself through different eyes, it's not surprise. being alone would make me realize. when it's over. I know I push you away. what can I do that will save our love? take these material things. they don't mean nothing. it's you that I want. I never wanted to see things in this way. had to go astray why was I such a fool. Now I see that the grass is greener. Is it too late for me to find back the trust on you, how could I be so wrong? I'm sorry. darling. everything's over. remains our love.

Saturday, September 17, 2011


From this moment life has begun, from this moment you are the one. Right beside you is where I belong from this moment on. From this moment I have been blessed,I live only for your happiness. and for your love I'd give my last breath form this moment on. alright, Darling? you know, without you there'll be no sun in my sky. there would be no love in my life, there'll be no world left for me. I don't know what I would do. I'd be lost if, I lost you. How do I live without you, how to I breathe without you? I want to be the face you see when you close your eyes, I want to be the touch you need every single day. I want to be your fantasy & be your reality nor everything between. I want you need me like the air you breathe, I want you to feel me in everything. but, I know. you wouldn't have been.

Friday, September 16, 2011


I would give up everything. Just to keep you at my side. I would give you everything . There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do. to ensure your happiness. I'll cherish every part of you.After so much suffering. I've finally found someone that's true. I was all by myself for the longest time. it's cold inside and hurt from the heart it would not subside. I felt like dying until you saved my life.darling. I thank God. I found you. I was lost without you. within you, I've found myself. my every wish and every dream, somehow became reality. when you bought the sunlight. it completed my whole life. see I was so desolate before you came to me. Looking back I guess it shows that we destined to shine. after the rain to appreciate and care for what we have. I'd go through it all over again. to able to feel this way.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Same feelings but..

I can be tough, I can be strong. but with you, it's not like that at all. I remember all those crazy thing you said. all those crazy thing we did. you left them running through my head. you're always there, you're everywhere. but right now I wish you were here. darling, can you tell me. heaven from hell . blue sky from pain. can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail. a smile from a veil. you just make it possible. we're two souls. swimming in a fish bowl. year after year. running over the same old ground.footprint leave. what have we found? the same feelings. but, it's over.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

What I am I have to be.

We fell in love. but, it's not on the first day that we met.Together, we've been happy. I have very few regrets. for those ordinary problems. have not been hard to face but, lately little changes. have been slowly taking place. I knew my wrong. I'm always finding something is wrong in what you did. but, I can't rearrange my life. so, darling you've got to love for what I am. for simply being me. don't love me for what you intend. or hope that I will be some day. and if you're only using me. to feed your fantasy. you're really not in love. so, let me go. I must be free. if what you want. isn't natural for me. I won't pretend to keep you. What I am I have to be. the picture of perfection. is only on your mind. for all your expectations. love can never be designed. we either take each other for everything we are. or leave the life. we've made behind and another start.

I just don't understand.

"I just don't understand". How awesome is my day, where I was having fun could change in the blink of an eye. I don't understand how she push me away like she have no feelings for me, but yet she made it look so easy. without explaining what I've done wrong when I know I haven't done anything to upset her. How I can smile all day long but cry myself to sleep at night. How pictures never change but the people in her does. How my best friend can become my worst enemy or how strange it is when my worst enemy turns into my darling. How forever turns into a few short months that I've do almost anything to get back. How I can let go of something I once said I couldn't live without. How even though I know something is best for me, it just hurts the same. How the people I once wanted to spend every second with me, think few minutes of their time is too much to spare. How people make promises despite knowing how common it is for promises to be broken. How people can erase me from their lives just because it's easier than working thing out. I don't understand.

Sunday, September 11, 2011


Maybe I didn't treat you, quite as good as I should have. maybe I didn't love you, quite as often as I could have. Maybe I didn't hold you, all those lonely times. little things I should have said and done. I just never took a time. and I guess I never told you. I'm so happy that you're mine. You're always on my mind. darling, if I've ever hurt you. I'm sorry I was being uncontrolled. tell me that your sweet love for me hasn't died.give me one more chance to keep you to satisfied.


Darling, I love you in a place where there's no space or time. I love you for in my life. you're a friend of mine. and when my life is over. I'll remember when we were together. We were alone & together we're both. all this we've been together. everyday a new adventure. times, enough to last forever and a day. our love was sometimes all we had. through good times nor bad. all our days weren't bright and sunny. there are times we have argument. you could always find some funny things to say. just to calm me down. and looking back on where we've been. I'd do it all again. just so, I'll feel that I've been loved. I loved you all the way. every day, every night. times I thought I couldn't count on. wondering if we'd ever make it. you could hold me close and I've said it all be yours.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Every night, every day.

Every night, every day. you're the one I always dream of. every line of your face is sketched so plain inside my heart. you've grown so deep inside of me. you're my everything I feel and see. and you're the one I love and have feelings for. all my life, all my love. I can feel when you're beside me. All that's right nor wrong. suddenly becomes so clear. my heart has overtaken by you. with feeling you awake in me. only you could move me enough to believe in love one more time. all I need to know for tomorrow is that you're mine. you're mine for a lifetime. if your friends all around. they find it's hard to understand us. but, you and I understand the other one so well. and that's what I've been looking for.

you're my darling and let me be your honey.

Darling, do you know? I used to think what if I told you. that 'I love you'. I've always wanted to hold you. I'm afraid of nothing would change if we made friendship to love. so, I'll be your friend and I'll be you honey. cause in our hearts we agree. we don't have to be one or the other. we could be both to each other. I've been through you and you've been through me. sometimes, a friend is the hardest to see. define them as 'real' nor 'fake'. but, I've bet all of my friends are true. I always know when it's laid on the line. nobody else is as easy to find. darling, we're taking this chance that could even break our relationship nor friendship. but, I don't afraid. cause once upon a time. I have it.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011


Everyone comes into my life for a reason. some good, some bad. they shape, form or break us. but in the end they make us who we are. so, darling. what's your reason? for being a part of my life? you know.Darling, you'll never gonna feel unhappy, unappreciated, nor unimportant. just so you said, 'around you make me happy'!:)just so, I never forget what you've done to me. just so, when people asked ' what's in my mind'? I'll said your name. as long as you love me, I'll love you just like you do. every time you laugh, I'll be there watching you with a big smile!:) your happiness always mine too.